Depression Kills!
The following is from my stay in the hospital. It has really spoke to me, so I am posting it here believing that God will use it to touch your heart and change your life.
Depression has foods it loves to feast on: self-pity, shame, despair, isolationism, the stubborn refusal to be helped or to even acknowledge the illness. When so fed, depression intensifies all these feelings. But there is another delicacy it craves and finds in some way in all of its victims: perfectionism.
What a poisonous attitude toward life I choose when I try to be "perfect," when I cannot live with my mistakes or even admit them! It is impossible to live "perfectly," and the very attempt makes me ill or builds on my already existing illness. Actually, perfectionism is my very human but pathetic attempt to create my worth, since I believe I cannot possibly have any worth apart from my own efforts. From this misperception I spiral downwards. My shame feeds into denial and pretense, and I take my place at the banquet of misery.
This is a toxic way to live, certain death to my spirit. There is another table I am invited to, however, with healthier food --- and I can come as I am. God Almighty is the host, and the main course is unconditional love.
How hungry am I?
My question to you is: How hungry are you? I got so hungry after I returned home from the hospital that I have returned to my first love. God has helped me to be on fire for Him again. I wake up every morning thanking God for being alive. I go to bed every night thankful that I have had a day full of God and that I am where He wants me to be. I purpose each day to do everything as unto the Lord. Now, of course, I am not perfect. When I fall, instead of running away from God, I run to God with my mistakes and thank Him for the death of His son, Jesus Christ. Jesus' death on the cross, his blood, is what cleanses me from all my sins (mistakes).
If you need more information regarding Jesus and how he can be your friend, please visit www.freshmanna.org. With Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you can be sure that you are going to heaven when you die. You do not just have to hope so or think so. You can really know for sure!!!
If you are not plugged into a church that is Bible-based (meaning that its doctrines are based on scripture and not a committee vote or tradition), I encourage you to find one. If you live in the Minneapolis area, come check out my church, Living Word Christian Center (www.lwcc.org). There are a lot of great churches in the area, but I would be honored if you would visit my church. Send me an email at gulland@wh-link.net to let me know when you will be attending so we can meet.
I hope that everyone is doing well and enjoying the change to fall. I know that my husband, Ed, is loving it! Fall is his favorite season!!! He is a photographer at heart, so he loves all the colors.
Be blessed and know that I love you all and am praying for you.
Depression has foods it loves to feast on: self-pity, shame, despair, isolationism, the stubborn refusal to be helped or to even acknowledge the illness. When so fed, depression intensifies all these feelings. But there is another delicacy it craves and finds in some way in all of its victims: perfectionism.
What a poisonous attitude toward life I choose when I try to be "perfect," when I cannot live with my mistakes or even admit them! It is impossible to live "perfectly," and the very attempt makes me ill or builds on my already existing illness. Actually, perfectionism is my very human but pathetic attempt to create my worth, since I believe I cannot possibly have any worth apart from my own efforts. From this misperception I spiral downwards. My shame feeds into denial and pretense, and I take my place at the banquet of misery.
This is a toxic way to live, certain death to my spirit. There is another table I am invited to, however, with healthier food --- and I can come as I am. God Almighty is the host, and the main course is unconditional love.
How hungry am I?
My question to you is: How hungry are you? I got so hungry after I returned home from the hospital that I have returned to my first love. God has helped me to be on fire for Him again. I wake up every morning thanking God for being alive. I go to bed every night thankful that I have had a day full of God and that I am where He wants me to be. I purpose each day to do everything as unto the Lord. Now, of course, I am not perfect. When I fall, instead of running away from God, I run to God with my mistakes and thank Him for the death of His son, Jesus Christ. Jesus' death on the cross, his blood, is what cleanses me from all my sins (mistakes).
If you need more information regarding Jesus and how he can be your friend, please visit www.freshmanna.org. With Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you can be sure that you are going to heaven when you die. You do not just have to hope so or think so. You can really know for sure!!!
If you are not plugged into a church that is Bible-based (meaning that its doctrines are based on scripture and not a committee vote or tradition), I encourage you to find one. If you live in the Minneapolis area, come check out my church, Living Word Christian Center (www.lwcc.org). There are a lot of great churches in the area, but I would be honored if you would visit my church. Send me an email at gulland@wh-link.net to let me know when you will be attending so we can meet.
I hope that everyone is doing well and enjoying the change to fall. I know that my husband, Ed, is loving it! Fall is his favorite season!!! He is a photographer at heart, so he loves all the colors.
Be blessed and know that I love you all and am praying for you.
posted by Steph @ 9/09/2006 06:40:00 AM
1 Comments:
At 10:23 AM,
Unknown said…
Thank you for sharing this with me. May God richly bless you and your family. My house is depressed. I have a son with Bipolar and one with Stargardts Macular Degeneration. thank you again. I hope you are well.
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