A Short Course in Packaging (Your Communication That Is!)
A Short Course in Packaging
In communicating with our partners, truth should supply the content, and love should supply the package. It takes both, working together, to make a successful product. All of us need to become packaging experts, because in communication, as in manufacturing, packaging is everything. Five simple principles can help us become better packagers of the truth.
1. Choose a package your mate will like. Bringing up a complaint or a concern is sometimes a nasty business, so the goal is to look for the most diplomatic way to do it. Try to introduce a complaint with a praise, express approval before disapproval, point out what was done right before what was done wrong, find fault without assigning blame, and recognize good intentions before pointing out bad actions. The goal is to choose a package your mate will like. Tailor the package to her specific needs and wants, and you'll find that your words get a much better reception.
2. Make sure the package fits the product. We make three common errors when we're first learning the art of package design. Sometimes the package is too small—we're a little too sparing on our expression of praise or approval. Sometimes the package is too big, and then the gift inside is a bit of a disappointment. Sometimes the package is too transparent, and then our attempt to speak the truth in love looks like empty flattery or manipulation.
3. Change the package often. The first time you choose to introduce a complaint with a praise, you may be very pleased with the results. Be careful! We tend to think in formulas. A formula mind-set might reason, "Hey, that worked. I should do that again next time." And it might work the next time—but with slightly less impressive results. Once the approach begins to look like a formula, it loses its genuineness, and if it begins to feel manipulative, it's certain to make your mate angry.
4. Take the time to admire a beautiful package. A beautifully wrapped package is a work of art, and art should be admired. Speaking the truth in love requires awareness, discipline, and practice, and that kind of effort deserves recognition. The next time your mate extends a beautifully wrapped gift to you, make sure she's aware that you noticed. Try "Thank you for saying it that way," or, "That was a very thoughtful way of putting it."
5. Deliver the package! Someone once said, "To love someone and not tell them is like wrapping a beautiful gift but never giving it away." Speaking the truth in love begins with a change in attitude, but it should not end there. Don't wait for your next complaint to begin to communicate praise, approval, gratitude, and encouragement. Give away the gifts of gratitude and encouragement frequently and freely.
This is from the book The Seven Conflicts by Tim & Joy Downs. Check it out!!!
In communicating with our partners, truth should supply the content, and love should supply the package. It takes both, working together, to make a successful product. All of us need to become packaging experts, because in communication, as in manufacturing, packaging is everything. Five simple principles can help us become better packagers of the truth.
1. Choose a package your mate will like. Bringing up a complaint or a concern is sometimes a nasty business, so the goal is to look for the most diplomatic way to do it. Try to introduce a complaint with a praise, express approval before disapproval, point out what was done right before what was done wrong, find fault without assigning blame, and recognize good intentions before pointing out bad actions. The goal is to choose a package your mate will like. Tailor the package to her specific needs and wants, and you'll find that your words get a much better reception.
2. Make sure the package fits the product. We make three common errors when we're first learning the art of package design. Sometimes the package is too small—we're a little too sparing on our expression of praise or approval. Sometimes the package is too big, and then the gift inside is a bit of a disappointment. Sometimes the package is too transparent, and then our attempt to speak the truth in love looks like empty flattery or manipulation.
3. Change the package often. The first time you choose to introduce a complaint with a praise, you may be very pleased with the results. Be careful! We tend to think in formulas. A formula mind-set might reason, "Hey, that worked. I should do that again next time." And it might work the next time—but with slightly less impressive results. Once the approach begins to look like a formula, it loses its genuineness, and if it begins to feel manipulative, it's certain to make your mate angry.
4. Take the time to admire a beautiful package. A beautifully wrapped package is a work of art, and art should be admired. Speaking the truth in love requires awareness, discipline, and practice, and that kind of effort deserves recognition. The next time your mate extends a beautifully wrapped gift to you, make sure she's aware that you noticed. Try "Thank you for saying it that way," or, "That was a very thoughtful way of putting it."
5. Deliver the package! Someone once said, "To love someone and not tell them is like wrapping a beautiful gift but never giving it away." Speaking the truth in love begins with a change in attitude, but it should not end there. Don't wait for your next complaint to begin to communicate praise, approval, gratitude, and encouragement. Give away the gifts of gratitude and encouragement frequently and freely.
This is from the book The Seven Conflicts by Tim & Joy Downs. Check it out!!!
Labels: Marriage, Words to Live By
posted by Steph @ 9/12/2007 12:27:00 PM
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