Who Are You to Judge?
Do not judge lest you be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
Perhaps the greatest roadblock to loving confrontation is the well-known "log" that seems lodged in your eyes. Such handicapped vision inevitably distorts our relationships, both with God and with each other.
Here are five tips Barbara and I have found useful in keeping judgment out of confrontation:
1. Check your motivation. Are you bringing this up to help or to hurt? Prayer is the best way to check our motives. When we take the situation to God and He shines His light on us and the problem, then we usually see our motivation for what it is.
2. Check your attitude. Loving confrontation says, "I care about you." Don't hop on your bulldozer and bury your mate.
3. Check the circumstance. Pick a suitable time, location and setting. Don't confront your mate the moment he or she walks in the door after a hard day's work, at mealtime or in front of others.
4. Check to see what other pressures may be present. Be sensitive to where others are coming from. What's the context of their lives right now?
5. Be ready to take it as well as dish it out. Sometimes confronting someone can boomerang-he or she may have some stuff saved up for you that will spill out when you bring up an issue. If you expect others to listen, to understand, to hear you out and to accept your point of view, be ready to do the same yourself.
Discuss: Think of an issue or complaint you may want to air with your mate. Ask yourself if you are "projecting"-seeing your own faults in others. Before confronting them, reflect on whether the issue might be solved by "weeding your own garden" first.
Pray: That you can see your marriage relationship objectively, being sure you are willing to be judged by the same standards you hold for your mate.
---Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Copyright 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. All rights reserved. To purchase the book, visit http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/detail.asp?id=1170
Subscribe to this newsletter "Moments Together For Couples" by visiting www.familylife.com.
Perhaps the greatest roadblock to loving confrontation is the well-known "log" that seems lodged in your eyes. Such handicapped vision inevitably distorts our relationships, both with God and with each other.
Here are five tips Barbara and I have found useful in keeping judgment out of confrontation:
1. Check your motivation. Are you bringing this up to help or to hurt? Prayer is the best way to check our motives. When we take the situation to God and He shines His light on us and the problem, then we usually see our motivation for what it is.
2. Check your attitude. Loving confrontation says, "I care about you." Don't hop on your bulldozer and bury your mate.
3. Check the circumstance. Pick a suitable time, location and setting. Don't confront your mate the moment he or she walks in the door after a hard day's work, at mealtime or in front of others.
4. Check to see what other pressures may be present. Be sensitive to where others are coming from. What's the context of their lives right now?
5. Be ready to take it as well as dish it out. Sometimes confronting someone can boomerang-he or she may have some stuff saved up for you that will spill out when you bring up an issue. If you expect others to listen, to understand, to hear you out and to accept your point of view, be ready to do the same yourself.
Discuss: Think of an issue or complaint you may want to air with your mate. Ask yourself if you are "projecting"-seeing your own faults in others. Before confronting them, reflect on whether the issue might be solved by "weeding your own garden" first.
Pray: That you can see your marriage relationship objectively, being sure you are willing to be judged by the same standards you hold for your mate.
---Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Copyright 1995 by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. All rights reserved. To purchase the book, visit http://www.familylife.com/1-800-358-6329/detail.asp?id=1170
Subscribe to this newsletter "Moments Together For Couples" by visiting www.familylife.com.
Labels: Advice, Conflict, God, Marriage, Words to Live By
posted by Steph @ 8/31/2007 05:38:00 AM
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